Monday 30 June 2008

Make your own - Playdough (Play-Do)

Make your own playdough with existing ingredients you (may)already have in the kitchen. In my opinion they are better than store bought as you control the amount of chemical, colour and fragrant to it.

The kids can help too. There are other ways of making playdough without cooking, but for me cooking them seems to make the playdough much smoother and softer.


Basic ingredient ratios:
2 cups flour
2 cups warm water
1 cup salt
2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
1 Tablespoon cream of tartar (optional for improved elasticity)
Others :
food coloring (liquid or powder)
Optional :
scented oils

Mix all of the ingredients together, and stir over low heat. The dough will begin to thicken until it resembles mashed potatoes.

When the dough pulls away from the sides and clumps in the center, as shown below, remove the pan from heat and allow the dough to cool enough to handle.


IMPORTANT NOTE: if your playdough is still sticky, you simply need to cook it longer! Keep stirring and cooking until the dough is dry and feels like playdough.
Turn the dough out onto a clean counter or silicone mat, and knead vigorously until it becomes silky-smooth. Divide the dough into balls for coloring.

Make a hole in the center of the ball (it will look like a volcano), and drop some food coloring1 in. Fold the dough over, working the food color through the body of the playdough.

Work the dye through, adding more as necessary to achieve your chosen color. Store remains or extras in air tight container.


Have Fun!


Read more on "Make your own - Playdough (Play-Do)" ...

Saturday 21 June 2008

Letting It All Hang Out

There are certain parenthood nightmares that we rarely discuss for fear of putting ourselves and where we are coming from, on the line, risking our parental skills be judged and hurled with criticisms. We would rarely let our dirty habits hang out to dry, and as parents we tend to salve the mischief that "kids these days" get up to with, "ah, their just being kids".

But what do you do when out of the blue you discover that your children enjoy fondling their jewels for pleasure. My readings explicate that it is normal for toddlers to explore their bodies for many different reasons. Some to relax, some, God forbids, do it to emulate what they have seen their parents' do some merely experimenting with their body parts.



Many faculties advise against reprimanding kids who "wank themselves silly". Kids should not be denied their sexuality. They should not be taught to stop themselves from feeling things controlled by their senses. Instead we ought to make it clear that such behavior is inappropriate when done in public.

In Islam, as far as I have checked through my readings, it is prohibited. What would you do if you learn that your child has a secret habit such as this?

Read More on this subject:
exploring down there
dr. greene's opinion

Read more on "Letting It All Hang Out" ...

Wednesday 18 June 2008

Smackdowns - Handling them

How do you handle smackdowns? Between siblings? Your child bestfriends? His good pals from schools who comes over for an afternoon of tussle? Or perhaps those children he met at the playground? Im exasperated, trying to find a neutral ground to tone down his whining and sometimes making the situation a learning experience. I ask myself, at 3+ does he really understand when I try to reason why a little hitting and smacking is perfectly fine in a boy's world. Or those number of push he's receiving is just a small lesson/insight to the bigger falls he will receive in life.

How do you handle bullies?
Especially bullies who happen to be his best friends and/or neighbours he meet often? Do you take your child side because he's clearly younger or in the right? How do you tackle playground bullies?

Are they both the same issue? Or perhaps finding the answer to one will give me the reply to the other? I lost my top ysterday with a (local) kid who was seen chasing Harris around the playground just so he could pinch, kick and push him. Harris the sometime quaint Asian kid he is, allow the situation to happen repeatedly. I intercepted by extracting Harris away from the playground for 10minutes. I notice that the kid was supervised by his mum who was close on hand but didnt stop the situation. It happen again the moment Harris rejoin the playground, infact on closer notice, he is hell bend on picking on Harris only (the only Asian kid). I acted on part motherly impulse and part sheer discrimination anger by screaming at the kid, then pointing to his burqa clad mum for an apology.She verbally squeak a lame apology so I made her half drag her squeeling screaming son to Harris for a proper, lets shake on that apology. Its amazing what sign language can achieve in the absence of language.
There seems no balance in teaching your kid to protect himself in your absence. He is taught not to resort to fighting, yet is it permissable if he retort out of defense? He is taught to show kindness to stranger, but when push comes to shove? We taught him to walk away from a situation that he has no control in, but I hate it when he comes running to me, with unshed brimming tears, knowing he should be out there standing for his rights.

What is the life lesson you impart to your child/children? How do you tackle smackdowns?
Read more on "Smackdowns - Handling them" ...

Thursday 5 June 2008

Wean or Lose?

When I moved to Saudi and became a full time stay at home mom and found out I was pregnant with my fourth child, I told myself that I would try my very best to fully breastfeed this one. I mean, I didnt have to go to work, I'd be with the baby 24 by 7, it was the best situation and opportunity to do it.
Even though Izani was fed with both breastmilk and formula the first few months (the bottle was a back-up plan, "just in case"), in the end I managed to fully breastfeed him. Somehow one day he decided that he didnt want anything from the bottle. Whenever I tried to give him the bottle, he'd take a lick of the latex nipple and he'd make a face and push it out with his tongue. After a few days, I gave up trying and packed the bottles in the sterilizer and put it away in one corner of the storeroom.
It felt like quite an achievement to be able to fully breastfeed Izani. It was definitely convenient. I finally had extra space in my handbag. I never needed to mix formula. When he needed milk, all I needed to do was lift up my shirt and there would be milk! (Wearing long flowy headscarves also helped me to be discreet). I could feed him anytime, anywhere. Sometimes even in the weirdest and unexpected places - I fed him while we were hanging high on the Eye on Malaysia, while watching sulphuric gases billow up from the sleeping volcanic pits of Tangkuban Perahu, in front of the Ka'abah, in the middle of the desert, in the middle of magical iris fields in the middle of the desert, on the second floor of the double decker bus touring Florence, in the Roman Colloseum, in Vatican City, deep in the jungles of Taman Negara, near the Sphinx and Pyramids... sometimes I feel I really spoil him. Since he also needs to nurse to sleep, and just nursing him while *I* sleep is easier, he also ends up sleeping with me.
When he turned 18 months, I started planning to wean him. Not because I was tired of breastfeeding him, but because we were planning to go to Hajj, and I can't bear thinking of leaving him behind if he still needs me (or rather, my mammary glands) and I think it would be risky to bring a small child to such a crowded place. I asked around for tips on how to start weaning. I received a lot of advice. Some funny ones, like putting red stuff on your blinkers and prentending they were bleeding to put him off. I didn't dare try that one.
Even with all the advice though, somehow I was reluctant to start weaning. I mean, I enjoyed the closeness, the feeling of being needed. I was a little worried. Will I lose that when I wean him? Will I miss him nuzzling under my armpit in the middle of the night? Will he resent me for no longer feeding him from my own body? Will we be this close ever again?

One day I got a visit from Ruby, who told me how she weaned off her son.

She used the cold turkey method.
Her son usually takes milk from the bottle during the day, so her only obstacle was weaning him off at night. Her husband took a few days off from work, and for several nights in a row, he and son slept together, away from the mother. Of course her son cried, asking for milk to comfort him to sleep, but eventually her son found another way to get to sleep and now he is totally weaned off. Ruby assured me that the child will not feel resentment towards the mom and that they both can build the closeness in other ways.

Motivated by this, I decided to start.
I decided to start with reintroducing the bottle to Izani. I took out all the bottles from storage, cleaned them and bought a small can of formula (oh my god.. I didnt realize how expensive they have become!). I started with only 30mls of milk and had it available around the house and tried to coax izani to drink it. I told him how yummy it was, and how fun sucking from a latex teat was.
It did not work!
He took a suck, made a face, threw the bottle aside and headed for my boobs. I wasted bottles and bottles of milk that would just end up going sour.
Then I decided to make him go to sleep on his own. My husband can't take off from work, so I decided to try over the weekend. It was horrible! He cried and cried and cried for me. He'd tug at my nightshirt trying to get to the source of comfort that he knew was under it. He'd plead "peas? peas? peas?" (please), which just breaks my heart. He'd scream and protest. When I try to give him the bottle, he'd scream "NO!" and throw it across the room. At one point he would fall asleep exhausted from crying, but only to wake up about an hour later, again crying and begging and then screaming for milk. I'd have to get out of bed and rock him to sleep in the living room, where he would sleep for like 5 minutes then wake up again asking for milk. Sleep deprived, I gave in, and the whole house could sleep peacefully again.
I almost gave up, but I didn't.
I continued with trying to get him to drink milk from the bottle. After several weeks of seeing it lying around, he finally got used to it, and one day decided to try it. The first night he finished 90ml of milk before bed, we whooped and cheered and congratulated him. We also found a nifty trick to make him want his milk. We made as if we were going to give it to his bigger sister Anis (who would act all excited to get milk in a bottle), he'd get jealous and all possesive and would insist on the bottle. tee hee.
Now the hard part is to not to breastfeed him.
Since I was always around, it was really difficult for him to ignore the lure of the breastmilk. He knows it's there. He knows he can get it. So i decided to just say no and stay firm. I knew that if I give in, all my efforts would go to waste.
You did not want to be in my house the first few days when I did this. There was a lot of screaming and crying. If my neighbours heard Izani, they would've have thought that he was in pain or something. He begged and plead for milk and I would say No, and try to give him his bottle. He would say no and the pleas would escalate to screams. I would say No and try to give him his bottle again. He would say No, grab the bottle, throw it across the room, then go after it and kick it, just to show how much he detested the thing. He would then scream and tug at my shirt. I would stand my ground and say No, and he would get really angry and start hitting me or banging his head into my side. I kept my cool by going to a happy place in my head and to not get angry at him. I just sat quietly with my arms across my chest, sitting in a foetal position so that he cant reach what he wants. After a while he'd calm down and I could distract him with other stuff, a favourite movie, some cereal, or rice and chicken.
Then came night time. I made sure he finished his dinner, chasing him around the dining room AND the living room to feed him, if that's what it takes. I made sure there was a bottle of milk always ready for him to drink before bed. In the afternoon I made him go out to play with his big brothers, so I knew he would at least be tired, if not full. Just like during the day, there was a lot of crying and begging and screaming and I did the same thing. I turned my back and literally ignored him. I felt so bad about having to do that, but I knew it had to be done. It turned out that it was so difficult afterall. Perhaps it was becuase he was full, or perhaps it was because he was tired, he didnt throw a tantrum for long before he fell asleep on his own.
This went on for a few days, and finally he started to get the picture. No more suckling with me. He started to drink more from the bottle. He'd get very clingy, always whining to be picked up and held, but I take this as a transition phase. Some nights he'd wake up in the middle of the night, crying and reaching for me, but I'd just hug him and pat him back to sleep. These past few nights he has started sleeping through the night, Alhamdulillah. Sometimes he forgets and comes sit in my lap, touch my chest and ask "susu?" looking up at me with his doe eyes and a pleading smile on his lips, but I would smile back and say "No.. Izani big boy now" and distract him with something else and he'd be okay.

Have I lost the closeness?
I dont think so. He's become more affectionate with me now. Climbing on my back and hugging me. Holding my face with both of his tiny hands and voluntarily kissing me. He has even learnt to say "I Love You". (Which is *so* cute.. i really should take a video of it one of these days).
Weaning isn't so bad after all :)

Would you like to share your experience?

Read more on "Wean or Lose?" ...

Tuesday 25 March 2008

Attachment Parenting

Have you heard of Attachment Parenting but is too shy to ask its meaning? Or too busy to look it up?

To understand the term you have to ask yourself what the word Attachment means to you?
1) Bond? 2)Closeness? 3)Emotionally Attached? 4) Fond?
If your reply is amongst the above, you are not far off.


With the growing number of mothers (usually stay home) adopting Attachment Parenting, I have taken the direct explanation to the term from a famous family doctor site, by way of explanation. We welcome your additional thoughts/view/comments on the subject.

• Attachment is a special bond between parent and child; a feeling that draws you magnet-like to your baby; a relationship that when felt to its deepest degree causes the mother to feel that the baby is a part of her. This feeling is so strong that, at least in the early months, the attached mother feels complete when she is with her baby and incomplete if they are apart.

• In most families the mother-infant attachment is more obvious. This does not mean that a father can't become deeply attached to the child, but it often seems to be a different type of attachment – not less or better than the mother's, just different.

• Attachment means that a mother and baby are in harmony with each other. Being in harmony with your baby is one of the most fulfilling feelings a mother can ever hope to have. Watch a mother and baby who are attached (in harmony) with each other. When the baby gives a cue, such as crying or facial expressions, signifying a need, the mother, because she is open to the baby's cues, responds.

• Initially, her responses may be a bit strained and not always what the baby needs. But as the mother-baby pair rehearses these cue-response interactions hundreds of times, after a few weeks or months into parenting this cue-response relationship becomes more natural and harmonious. The baby begins to anticipate the response that his mother will give and become further motivated to give more cues, because he learns that he will get a predictable response.

• Because the baby gives the mother the feedback that her mothering is appreciated, the mother-baby pair enjoys each other more. They get used to each other.



Dr Sears.com"> Read more on "Attachment Parenting" ...

Wednesday 5 March 2008

Baked Rice


Baked Rice, isn’t this one of the most fail-proof dish and constant option in all Kids menu. Now you can replicate it at home. There are various ways of doing this and easily no wrong way too. You need a little creativity and knowledge of your kids (which all of us have) – so all you need is 25mins.

Basic Ingredients:
Buttered Rice - Fry some onions with lots of butter and add it to your rice. Steam to cook.

Once the above has cooked, transfer to a pyrex/casserole dish and add your preferred ingredients. Top with your favourite cheese, but as usual I would only recommend Cheddar for kids. We use Parmesan and Cheddar for Harris and Gouda, Parmesan and Cheddar for ours. Baked for 15-20mins or cheese melts and turns stringy.

For the picky eaters (like my son), please pick the onions out. It amaze me what one small bit of onion can do, like his world will crumble by biting into it :>

Visit here for other suggested ways to Jazz up your dish to suit your palate. Read more on "Baked Rice" ...

Sunday 24 February 2008

Kidzania

Kidzania - It's your Kid's world, well if they are between the age of 3-16yrs. If you're looking for a family vacation spot that would be fun for the kids and shopping for you, this would be the place. Read more here Read more on "Kidzania" ...

Saturday 23 February 2008

Allowance - Yes/No?

What are your experiences and views on allowances? My husband would like to start giving our 3yr old allowance since he has started Sunday school but Im against it. For now, he has “monopoly” (we make) money for his maths, understanding values and the moral of it. Anything else above that, what would the money be for? Im open as gradual move, nearing our home vacation. So as to build anticipation, purchase presents for folks back home or keepsake during our holiday.
At what age does your kid get their allowances? Do they get extra during weekends? And more for helping out with chores?


Read more on "Allowance - Yes/No?" ...

Cooking big?

Today I'd like to share with you a tip on cooking that I got from a friend. This tip has been used all the time by those who are the expert on big cooking. Perhaps you know it already, but its still good to share and you might want to chip in more tips here too. ;)

foodNever put your just used pot filled with food on the cement or tile or your kitchen top.

This tip is particularly useful when you are cooking for lots and with big pots. When you cook for say 100 people, you would need the space to cook other food and you would most likely need to cook the night before or early in the morning.


Put your pot (which ada lauklah ok, bukan periuk kosong) on an alas (what is it in english?).If you notice masa kenduri2 people use alas kayu or the kaki besi. And if you have none of those, like me, since I am not one those experts who have all these gadgets, you can use bekas telur (egg holder?)

And what is the reason? To avoid the food from going bad especially whose with santan (coconut milk). Remember most of the time when we are cooking for lots of people, we have to cook early. the risk of the food going bad is there. Perhaps putting the hot food on cold cement would gave a shocking jolt to the food and insult it, giving the reaction of protest thus basi.

Oh the other thing is, don't cover your pot when the food it is still steaming.

Edited..

Someone just gave me another tip. If you do need to cover your pot when the food is steaming hot, seal it with papers first so that the papers will absorb the rising steam and not drop back into the lauk. Thus avoiding it going bad.
Read more on "Cooking big?" ...

Wednesday 20 February 2008

Kids and Craft

We do lots of crafts in our household, well I do with Harris for I believe not all toys should be purchased and husband would do the technical and mechanical bit, which I have none. Harris has a big box filled with crafts and he's so use to me making something, some days he ask for the most impossible at the oddest hour of the day.

Ive made handphones from Lipton Tea box, 20" caterpillar from magazines pages, building and Legos from small carton boxes, binoculars from kitchen rollers tube..etc. Im sharing a few cool ideas for you to try when you can find the time and scrapes material.


Little artists can be so prolific, creating paintings, drawings, and collages faster than you can figure out what to do with them. Rather than letting the works of art that don't make it onto a refrigerator door gather dust in a closet, a good solution is to label mailing tubes and fill with rolled-up stacks of artwork.

For the avid Readers, turn ribbon scraps into pretty and sturdy bookmarks.

Book with a twist, made from ordinary composition books, these personalized journals make great kids' crafts and thoughtful gifts -- especially when their covers are designed to inspire their contents. You might create a children's travel diary, a book of baby's firsts, or a baseball-statistics book for your favorite sport

Inspiring Young ReadersOn bus trips, during nikah/kenduri (prayers) ceremonies, or whenever silence is required, keep your child entertained with a homemade felt activity book. Here for instructions

Make some noise,this is our personal favourite. So easy too, empty cans become drums when turned upside down. Each size makes a different noise. You can achieve a cymbal-like sound by laying circles cut from foil pans over a can's opening.For drumsticks, use 10-inch-long wooden dowels and small balls. poke or drill (depending on the ball's density) a hole partway through each ball. Push dowel through and glue. For different tonal qualities, experiment with various balls

Seeing BubblesMake a giant bubble wand and a big batch of bubble solution with household items you probably already have.
1. Thread cotton twine through two straws (cut off any flexible section of the straws)and bend to make a rectangle as shown; knot and trim excess.
2. Make the bubble solution: Pour 10 cups water, 4 cups dishwashing soap, and 1 cup corn syrup into a shallow tub. Stir to combine.

The best part of all the above, is the bonding time and bringing the kids together irregardless of their age and sex to put the craft together. The big kids can cut or help gather the items while the small ones with their stubby fingers and not quite cordinated move can glue, stick and hold items in place. Have fun!

Read more on "Kids and Craft" ...

Monday 18 February 2008

*Hush* Baby Sleeping

Further to Elisa B.E.D
I have an entry on creating creative meal for your kid. Other cooking suggestions for soya beans-I make Begedel Tahu (Tofu Patties), Sliced tempe thinly so it turn into chips like texture, include nuts in his lunchbox or sprinkle over yoghurt. Harris (3+) has no problem with B.E.D (alhamdullilah) just choosy on certain B (he loves Eggs and Dairy).

Nocturnal and/or Late Sleepers.

Since birth, we practice bedtime routine, like clockwork we both would retreat to bedroom, dim light and put infant Harris to sleep. So I never had problem till we move here (GMT + 3). It took him 6months to get adjusted and we would go on drives around the neighborhood just to get him to sleep. Scientifically it’s proven that the lull and motion of driving puts kids to sleep. We also practice below:
Bed time rituals : develop habits. Cease all hyper, new toy introduction, conversations, tv to a stop few hours to bedtime. Play quiet games or a simple activity that is monotonous and boring. Then leading to bedtime, ritualistic timetable eg brush teeth, read, tuck, kisses and nite.

Environment : Like us, they need a cosy environment. Night light, comfortable bedding, location, favourite sleeping toy, dark room.

Praises and Chart : Bestow praises and encouragement the next morning on the achieved bedtime of previous night. Plot chart and reward accordingly – this works like miracle in our household.

Establish daytime routines: consistent meal, playtime, walks with you will allow him to have the downtime or wind-down moments when you are ready to put him down.

Consistency: His waking up time need to be consistent at all times, only when this is achieved will the sleeping time be easier. Makes sense right.

But having said all the above, I still have a difficult (initial) 1week when we go home for vacation or in a country of another different time zone. Im a walking zombie surviving on coffee during these times – anyone has tips for me?


Read more on "*Hush* Baby Sleeping" ...

Sunday 17 February 2008

Protein Pals

"MDR" asked about how to encourage her Aqila to eat proteins on How to Handle Picky Eaters.
My reply to her comment was too long, so I decided to make it a post. heh heh.

My 8 year old Ihsan has problems eating meat as well. I guess he doesn't really like the texture. he finds them stringy and it sticks in between his teeth. But he's okay with processed meat, i.e. sausages, meat/fishballs, nuggets and such. He's also okay with bolognaise sauce or currypuff fillings. He's favourite, though, is crispy fried fish, so I try to have some fish at least once a week.

If your child is refusing meat-based protein in any form, perhaps you can use this reminder : BED.
I'm not saying send them to bed without their supper, remind yourself of these other source of proteins: Beans, Eggs and Dairy.


Beans
Beans and nuts, are essentially seeds, therefore they are packed with nutrients, especially protein.
Since most kids sees anything green as 'vegetables', you might want to do some creative 'hiding' of these in your dishes. You can mash peas and use them as fillings or make cream of pea soup (and call it green vomit for the kid who loves anything gross) or make thicker soup and use as a sauce for pasta. Other 'more stringy' beans can be sliced really thinly or small and mixed into fried rice or porridges.
Lentils and chickpeas are more pleasing and can be made into bite sized snacks (like masala vade or simply kacang rebus). Other beans like red/black beans, mung beans (kacang hijau) can be made into sweet porridges or fillings for buns or desserts (oh man.. now I crave for a sanggupal)
Nuts are usually easier to serve to children, since they are crunchy. They can be served as snacks or sprinkled on desserts. My kids must have peanuts with their nasi lemak. The best kind of nut, is actually Almonds, and these are best eaten raw, a handful a day. Almonds contain essential oils that are good for the heart, according to Dr.Oz.
The most versatile bean, however, must be the soya bean. This 'magic bean' comes in a variety of forms - Tauhu (tofu), tempe, taufoo fah, soya bean milk, and can be served in variety of ways. You can even hide mashed up tofu in your cucur (fritters), and kids wont be able to detect it.

Eggs
Eggs, like beans and nuts, are really seeds, but for hens (or ducks, if you like duck eggs). You can prepare them in any way and mix them into almost any dish.
Hard Boiled - on its own, or sliced with a dash of ketchup/soy sauce, mashed and mixed with mayo+cheese and made into a sandwiched, diced and put into potato salad.
Soft boiled - on it's own or with a dash of soy sauce and pepper eaten with toast (yum!), served on mee goreng.
Fried - sunny side up (mata kerbau), lembik, keras, up to you.
Ommelette - plain or filled. Make it extra thick and load it up with vegetables and meat to make a frittata.
Scrambled - plain or french (addd milk, sugar, salt and pepper, cook under low heat stirring constantly).
As a coating - make french toast, or dip your vegies and met in them before dredging in bread crumbs.
As an ingredient - drizzle into boiling porridge or soup to make 'egg drops'(or strings).
As dessert - cakes, custards, pavlova, bread pudding, jala mas, bunga tanjung.. all use eggs!
Make sure your child is old enough (2+) and have not developed any allergies to eggs, though.

Dairy
Milk (cow's , goat's or even camel's) contain lots and lots of protein. You can serve them straight, or give it to your child in the form of cheese, yogurt, or sour
/thick/whip cream. Again, it's very versatile. Serve them in a cream sauce, or mix with juices, add cream cheese to make moist cakes, serve as a topping for your muffins (in which you would hide carrots, as in this recipe), or simply make cheese sandwiches.

So basically, once you remember the different ways in which you can add protein to your child's diet, you meed not worry that your child would be lacking of it. (Insya-Allah).

Hope that this helped!

p/s let's bring up another topic next time.. perhaps something unrelated to food, eh? coz all this talk about eating is making me hungry! :D

Read more on "Protein Pals" ...

Tuesday 12 February 2008

Carrot Spiced Muffins


These are really easy. So easy I made it whilst Harris was having string breakfast (and half sitting), conversation on his Kinselton dreams from previous night, me drinking coffee and whipping a batch of this.


Also see picture, Harris and his fruit loops garland/necklace (whatever you want to make of it) – this week he wants his fruit loops on strings. See my pointers #6 on Packaging and see he loves cooking/baking with me. For recipe, please visit my blog.
Read more on "Carrot Spiced Muffins" ...

Monday 11 February 2008

Eat Eat Eat

I don't think I have the right to write a post here in any way. Alhamdullilah my kids are not picky eater. Except for Jack, who is three. He doesn't take as much raw veges as his older siblings. But he slowly taking in perhaps a bit of raw carrots.

And because of this "relatively" easier eating session, I don't remember much of how they eat. Maybe some pointers though...



Play

When they can sit up right and take solid food, I let them eat by themselves. However I am still the main feeder. He has his own bowl filled with veges mostly. I let him suck the carrots and broccolis. I think this is perhaps the main reason that they are very receptive to the greens (or orange?).

At one time, my daughter, Sya, only want to eat the spinach (slightly blanched with onion and garlic), I had to hide them. And leave it as a treat.

I also allow them to spoon themselves their own porridge. Yes it is a total mess. And I am worn out. Working and no maid. Eating can be a chore in certain sense. But I find it fun, because eating is also bonding time for us.

Mess

So they make mess when they were little and just learning. A whole blob of them. To minimise the agony, I got myself a medium-sized linoleum and place it under their high chair. And Alhamdullilah, most of the time the stain doesn't get beyond the linoleum. The only thing I have to clean then is the linoleum and not the floor. Thus the battle is controlled.

OK sometimes they protest

Then I compromise and say only 10 suaps and you can be done with it. Then they would negotiate and we would come down to perhaps five suaps.

They love what they cook

Sya loves helping me in the kitchen and Haziq loves to ambush so that he can steal things. Even Jack cooks. I allow him to sprinkle salt and sugar. Put onions and garlics and even occasional cooking.

But you know what, I just remembered, most of the time I suap my kids even though they have their own plate. I enjoy doing that and they eat a lot when I do. I guess I am spoiling them too much. I think I stopped suaping Haziq when he is seven. I am breeding spoonfed kids, oh no.

But now, dinner is such a pleasure. Everyone can sit down and eat together and now only Jack makes the most mess. :D

Read more on "Eat Eat Eat" ...

Handling Picky Eaters (Diary of an imperfect mum)

Elisa is a well of experience. But what happens if you were a working mum thrust into mummy-hood or a first time mum? You would probably be like me, learning from your mistake, pre-conceived notions and acknowledging exceptions. Although true when said ‘what you eat and drink is the main source of nourishment for your baby’, I took a step further in that saying. I injected only the best cut of salmon (Omega-3), snacks on salads and fruits (fibre and vitamin c) and exercise (yoga and swimming), like a freak of nature that I completely turn away whenever a craving comes on. Everyone around me had to remind me its ok to eat spicy food, indulge in nasi lemak and yet still…I hold on that Im responsible for what Im feeding baby in womb – it’s a deciding factor for his future.

After birth, I left him with the care of a maid and I think somewhere between that and my parents - he grew really fussy. Again the paranoid kicks in; I wake up every day at 5am to process his vegetables, cod fish, congee, brown rice, tea snacks…so the maid just need to feed. Yet most days, he refuses. Where do I go wrong, yes that’s my million dollar question too.

I hang up my shoes and move here when he’s 30months and I started serious cooking. I had to reassess myself, outlook in things, understand him and work from there. I felt the overwhelm guilt and sadness, when I look at his bulging greedy eyes as he contemplate the candy offered to him by a shopkeeper – it was his first. From then on, I learnt to say ok to candies and chips in moderation and as treats.

Now at 3+, he loves eggs and mac&cheese (I don’t know which is 1st on his list) and if he can get away with it, has it everyday. He could eat a whole pack of cheese in one seating. He loves meatballs (coz he get to prepare), plain white rice with kicap (black soya sauce), fillet fish and anything zuppa. He chews 10000 times then spits when it comes to chicken – making it look like I’m feeding him old leather. And carrots, he eats them on good days. But none of the leafy vegetables. What he doesn’t know is that he has been eating everything.




Don’t lie. I never ever lie to him under any circumstances, not even when I want to feed him nutrition. I change names – Spinach becomes green leaves that all Parasaurolophus (dinosaur) eats, raisins are bird seeds, mashed potato is Yellow Snow mountain, tofu is butterflies…etc..

Decorate. Take 5mins to cut the carrots using cookie cutters, cheese hair, peas eyes or car/dinosaur/trees shape sandwich. Or I make kuah kicap (black sauce soup) and add peas as garnishing, tell him it’s a fishing game.

Dips & Fruits. Harris like cheese so I oblige by doing apples dip in cottage cheese. Or toasted bread dip in guacamole (avocado has tons of nutrition) Or do my own DIY fruity ice-cream/lollipops with yoghurt. Or smoothie of fruit, honey and milk. When he has a bad throat, I say “lets eat ice cream” which is really yoghurt and hes none the wiser.

Hide/Camouflage. Be inventive. Spinach hidden in frittata topped with lotsa of cheese and meat. Tomatoes in pasta sauce and process carrot and make it into your normal clear soup except its now orangey and add home made fishballs or celery (etc) and the whole family can have it. Imagine the nutrition in that one soup alone.

Substitute Sweet. Bake your own cake. You control the amount of sugar. Learn to make carrot muffins, its easy (I will post the recipe). You can freeze them and have it as treats or tea on another occasion.

Packaging. If he wants to eat on his playset kitchen cutleries (harris has his own), let him. If he want to eat on a safari themed plate, amuse him. Ive placed rice on muffin tray coz for a whole week that was his thrill.

Cook Together. Kids love being involved even if it means (you) cleaning the kitchen twice longer afterwards. This experience allows him to understand and in his own ways acknowledge his fears

Meal times really need not be hassled and harassed. I understand most of you have two or three other mouths to feed. It hasn’t been easy for me either, take it from me from the evolution of paranoid mum to be, protective mum and now here. Still on the road to discovery but the above has worked for me, and perhaps in given time, it will for you. To my paranoid self, Ive learned that it is my job to buy the right food, prepare it nutritiously (steam not fried. bake not fried) and serve creatively. The rest is up to Harris. Fall short of opening his mouth and shoving it in of course.

You know my story, tell me yours. Would love to hear your creative ways.

Recommended reading : Dr Miriam Stoppard - First Food

Read more on "Handling Picky Eaters (Diary of an imperfect mum)" ...

How to Handle Picky Eaters?

Rotidua's post about her picky eaters inspired me to write this.
I think Rotidua is not alone in her dillema, right?
Come on, don't be shy, spill the beans... !
Okay let me start with mine:

Ilham - he's 10 and he is starting to explore new foods. He is beginning to eat vegetables, but only lettuce and cucumber. He likes curries, and fried fish or chicken, but most of the time it's just that with rice, no vegetables at all. Loves eggs cooked any way, but especially sunny side up with the yolk slightly runny so that he can form a 'lava flow' on his volcanic mound of rice.

Ihsan - is going to be 9 in october and he eats plain white rice, with NOTHING. Not even soy sauce. Sometimes he'd take fried fish. What he likes most is crabs, but I can't afford to have that every day. Would not touch a vegetable with a ten-foot pole. Loves eggs cooked any way but sunny side up.

Anis - is 6 in March and is more adventurous, but again, no veggies. If I make fried rice or meehon with shredded or tiny pieces of vegetables in them, she would painstakingly pick them out and put it aside. She complains about eating rice everyday, but she loves masak lemak (Coconut milk gravy) and crispy fried chicken (especially the skin). Also loves eggs cooked any way but sunny side up.

Izani - is 2 in April. He is my star vegetable eater. He loves the crunchy carrots and cucumber. Likes to try anything or everything, but if he doesnt like it, he just spits it out anywhere, anytime he likes. Does not like fried eggs, but does not mind omelletes or scrambled eggs. Izani is very difficult to feed though. If I try to feed him, he'd say he wants to eat on his own, but when I leave him to eat on his own, he plays with his food (he's 2, whatdya expect?).



If I let my kids have their way, they would choose to eat cake, fries and candy all day.

What I've learned so far with my kids are these ...



Lead by example
If they see you enjoying various types of food, they will eventually (hopefully) will want to try them too. Try to make a show of how yummy certain foods are. If you're shy, you can even restrict passionate gastronomic responses to the privacy of your own home. But you'll soon see that your kids will start to like foods that they see you like.
This 'education' can start as early as while they're still in your tummy! I found that because I ate a lot of salads when I was pregnant with Izani, he was not averse to eating vegetables.
Unfortunately, kids pick up your bad habits too. Like my need to eat everything with something crunchy, be it keropok or twisties.

Introduce new foods gradually
Taste is acquired, so if you want to introduce something new, do it bit by bit, gradually. Have them try it at first, then when they have acquired the taste, you can increase the frequency of that dish, or introduce the ingredients into other dishes. This works with spices as well.

Find out what they like
This is probably the first thing that your mother (or other mothers) would ask your children when they're not eating: "What do you like?". It usually ticks me off when people go out of their way to prepare something my kids like when I am trying to teach them not to be so picky, but I have found that the information I gather here could be useful. How? *points to the next item*

Hide the veggies!
My kids like cucur udang (prawn fritters). So instead of making plain cucur udang, I shred carrots, sweet potatoes, scallions, parsley, etc etc into them. Another good way to hide veggies is inside tomato sauce (for pasta) or cheese (but some kids dont really like cheese) (Not my kids!). Or you can go the extra mile and do what Jerry Se1nfeld's wife did - puree her veggies and put them into brownies and cookies. (Get more ideas here - http://www.deceptivelydelicious.com). I can easily see her ideas modified into some kind of cucur, or masala vade, or kuih talam.

Explain nutrition
I usually would ask them what they would like to eat, but I'd usually veto some of their choices and I would tell them why. "Candy gives you cavities", "Chips are not healthy food", "You need vegetables to make you smart", etc etc. I am hoping that by telling them why, I could at least education them on what is healthy and what is not, and this would guide them on what foods to eat when I am not around to choose it for them.

Keep treats as really special treats
Don't make junk food as part of their diet. Don't put chips or candy in their lunchbox. Make it a once in a while thing, so that they don't develop the habit of eating it all the time and confusing them with regular food. Make sure they know the difference, by saving it as a treat. Make sure they know it's a special treat, and you cannot eat it ALL the time.

I can't say that all of the above are sure fire tips. But I do try and have had a few small successes. I think good eating habits is a learning process, and all we can do as parents is try to teach them and expose them as much as we can.
I remembr when I was younger that I hated vegetables too, but as I grew up, i developed a taste for them and can't have a meal without them (but then again that may be due to age.. can you say 'constipation'?)

Would love to hear your stories on this topic!

Read more on "How to Handle Picky Eaters?" ...

Thursday 7 February 2008

Pot Roast

I have a post on my blog on Pot Roast. Its modestly simple, life saving (in the act of putting a proper dish for dinner) and self-sufficient (thank you o'Oven).



To entice you, the picture is as above. Read more on "Pot Roast" ...

Wednesday 6 February 2008

Bondas

Our Database

Qatar, Doha
Name : Lollies
Nationality : Malaysian
URL/Email : http://lolliesplace.blogspot.com / bonda.blabber@gmail.com

Saudi Arabia, Dammam
Name : Elisa
Nationality : Malaysian
URL/Email : http://elisataufik.blogspot.com/ bonda.blabber@gmail.com

Saudi Arabia, Riyadh
Name : Swahili
Nationality : Singaporean
URL/Email : http://cooswahili.blogspot.com/ bonda.blabber@gmail.com

Malaysia
Name: Gartblue
Location : Selangor
Nationality: Malaysian
Interest: kids, books, breastfeeding, baking and blogging
URL/Email: gartblue.efx2blogs.com gartblue@gmail.com

Name : Hani
Location : PJ/KL
Nationality : Malaysian
Interest : anything involving kids, reading, travelling, cooking
Email : ahaniza@gmail.com



.......it's important to show that you love your children for themselves Read more on "Bondas" ...

Contact Us

ADD ME IN
To be included in our Bonda Database, please use the following guide to email us your information with Add Me In as subject.

* Name:
* Country (current resident):
Nationality:
Interest (in less than 20words):
* URL / Email:

* compulsory information.

.....

Our Email
bonda.blabber@gmail.com

....

Start A Blog Entry

* Title:
Category: (chosen from our existing archive)
Tagging:
Short description of content. You can separate words by comma. Example : 3yearold, Pleas. Burn Out,Sunday.
* Body:

*compulsory information Read more on "Contact Us" ...

Getting Started

Using This Site

Congratulations, you’ve been guided to Bonda Blabber, the Muslim Malay woman blogging community. We strive to create a community of network for interactive exchange of ideas, acquire knowledge on new issues and making friends. Whilst you may be eager to start writing your comments, we ask that you read the commandments below to ease this relationship we are building.

1)Register: Every website says this and you probably wish to skip this. But to register yourself, allows you to see who’s on Bonda Blabber, make new friends if you’re new in a town, exchange topic of interest in your friend website or simply interact closely with all the fabulous people behind Bonda Blabber. Simply click here to get your particulars send to us.

2)Read Topic and Talk Back : We have amazing editors, guest writers and community members (yes all you mothers) with their wealth of knowledge to share. Your server might know you’ve arrived but nobody else will until you step into the spotlight and introduce yourself by writing your comments. Don’t be shy, there is nothing wrong in your opinion (we welcome all), we are here to share knowledge, exchange ideas and learn to be better mothers for our children.

3)Post Your Blog: Whilst we would like to scour through each of your blogs, we are mortals mothers with dishes to burn, dustbin to allow overflowing and children to nag. We ask that you send us your terrific post from your own blog so we can all share. Use this link to email us with its basic guidelines so we can entice others to read your blog. We do want others to be lured to your blog and not lull to sleep.

4)Profanity: Do we need to remind you this? We are wise Muslimah mothers who will respect others view and in return deem that respect for ourselves. Whilst we allow harmless bantering and intense thinking conversation, any use of profanity and direct insult will be removed. Afterwhich you will be blocked from any of our blog topic, forum and remarks.

Now this is all we have. Can do? (do we hear a resounding yes?)…lets get started then.

...mothering never stops Read more on "Getting Started" ...

Monday 4 February 2008

Welcome!

"Bonda" is the malay term for 'mother'.
I had wanted to use "Bleber", which means "nag" in Trengganu-speak, but I decided to use "blabber" instead, which has a less negative or ranting connotation and more of a relaxed chatting feel to it.

We are not experts.
We are normal mommies.

When you come here, imagine yourself having a chat with us over a cup of teh tarik (or teh o ais limau, if you prefer), munching on keropok or kerepek.
Give your comments, ask us questions, bring up a topic, share your experience.
You are most welcomed!

- elisa Read more on "Welcome!" ...