There are certain parenthood nightmares that we rarely discuss for fear of putting ourselves and where we are coming from, on the line, risking our parental skills be judged and hurled with criticisms. We would rarely let our dirty habits hang out to dry, and as parents we tend to salve the mischief that "kids these days" get up to with, "ah, their just being kids".
But what do you do when out of the blue you discover that your children enjoy fondling their jewels for pleasure. My readings explicate that it is normal for toddlers to explore their bodies for many different reasons. Some to relax, some, God forbids, do it to emulate what they have seen their parents' do some merely experimenting with their body parts.
Many faculties advise against reprimanding kids who "wank themselves silly". Kids should not be denied their sexuality. They should not be taught to stop themselves from feeling things controlled by their senses. Instead we ought to make it clear that such behavior is inappropriate when done in public.
In Islam, as far as I have checked through my readings, it is prohibited. What would you do if you learn that your child has a secret habit such as this?
Read More on this subject:
exploring down there
dr. greene's opinion
Saturday 21 June 2008
Letting It All Hang Out
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2 comments:
very tricky issue, I am sure I'll be facing it sooner or later since I have a boy who's reaching puberty, but i agree with both of the doctors -
1. Teach them what 'private' means, tell them where the line is.
2. Teach them that the act is shameful, but they are not a shame (to you), and that they are still loved.
3. Substitute with a healthier replacement activity.
4. It is considered a 'dirty' act, since it does batalkan wudu' and such, kan? Even though they do it in private, the two malaikats on our shoulder is still watching..
5. I also liked that the doctors recommend that we investigate and solve the root cause (if the act persists) and not just stop/punish the act itself.
Our household (and my family & husband) advocate by this rule, for any issues on Sex & Sexuality: honesty.
from Get-Go (Start Young) of naming body parts the correct way to answering questions only with whats asked without elaboration then they are ready to hear.
It is uncomfortable & awkward initially, but it improve as the child gets older. And better to learn it from us the parents than the media whats with the over glorifying of sexualize material and celebrity "role models"
All the above and a strong root in Islam - I truly believe all's well
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